Hi guys, thanks for visiting my page!
My name is Marci and I will be using this blog to celebrate, cry, bitch and complain about “The Long Journey” to a lighter, healthy and guilt free life.
A little background info. I am starting this long journey very overweight, 200+ pounds overweight. This is the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. I was recently placed on medication for high blood pressure. The look on my doctors face while she explained my condition said it all, I am going to fucking die if I don’t get my shit together. That is my summary, not her’s, she was very supportive and much more positive. Love her!
To add to the drama, I have been experiencing anxiety/panic attacks. Not entirely sure that this is directly related to being over weight, but I’m sure all my guilt and feelings about the topic do not help the situation. I have had three of them so far and each time they get worse. The last one resulted in a total public sobbing, nuclear melt down of a mess. This episode was very scary and completely embarrassing. I’m so glad my best friend, Stacy was there to help me out of that dark mess. I don’t want to EVER experience that again.
So here I am, faced with this huge challenge. Something I have struggled with my entire life and have never successfully beat it. So instead of going off half-cocked with some stupid ass weight loss gimmick, I stopped and gave the situation some intense thought came up with the following questions and answers:
Why is it important to me to lose the weight?
- I don’t want to die before my time. I want to have a long life with my husband and watch my children and their children grow.
- I want to enjoy more time with my husband. Michael is very fit, I hate holding him back. I would love to be able to exercise, adventure and hang out with him more on his level.
- I’m tired of being the weakest link. Always walking behind trying to catch up.
- I’m tired of having to analyze every family or friend adventure, wondering if I’m going to end up hurting my self or just be embarrassed about how overweight and out of shape I am the entire time and not being able to keep up.
- I’m tired of feeling tired all the time.
- Concerts! Almost every fucking concert I go to, I have to bow out half way through to go sit down somewhere because I’m just completely worn out or feel like I’m going to pass out.
- I want to be guilt free. I beat myself up every second of every day about this. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I goto bed.
Why or what is it that stops me from successfully losing the weight?
- If I’m not comfortable with what I’m doing, I’m not going to do it.
- If I’m in physical pain, I’m not going to do it.
- If I deem it too hard to do, I’m not going to do it.
- If I don’t see tangible results within a reasonable amount of time, I’m not going to do it.
- If I have to eat tasteless crappy food, I’m not going to do it.
- If I can’t some how make it fun, I’m not going to do it.
What can I do differently not just to shed the weight, but to feel better about myself and be healthier, happy person?
- Stop thinking I can do this alone without help from my family and friends. Rely on them for their love and support to keep me motivated.
- Write down short term and long term goals and reflect on those goals daily.
- Use the “I Workout!” Facebook group to help me be accountable for achieving my goals and to allow my friends to give me love and support, posting something every day.
- Get over the guilt of my situation and feel good about taking steps to correct the situation. Forgive myself.
- Do something to get off my ass every day. It doesn’t have to be the gym, doesn’t have to be hard core anything. Just move!
Knowing what I know now, what is the final game plan?
- Set short term and long term goals, not just weight loss goals, but all the other things that will help me be happy and healthier. Write them down! Reflect on them daily!
- Put the Fitbit back on. I have way more friends and family that have this little device now and the social competition aspect of it keeps me engaged and moving.
- Look for fun ways to move. Shopping, strolls with my husband, walking the dogs.
- Enjoy food! Don’t worry about what it is I’m eating, just maintain a daily calorie deficit to lose the weight. Use the Fitbit app to track the food I eat.
- Use social media to help me. Post daily in the “I Workout!” Facebook group. Share my good days and bad days.
- Use the social media element of Fitbit to hold myself accountable and compete with family and friends.
- Depend on others to help me with my journey. Stop thinking I can do this all by myself. Let my family and friends into my world to help me stay strong and motivated.
- Keep reminding myself that I didn’t get into this situation over night and it’s not going to go away over night.
- Keep my long journey light hearted and fun!
So there you have it! If you have read this, I invite you back to keep reading about my long journey. Check up on me, help me be accountable, celebrate my successes with me and help me prop myself back up when I fall because I will and that is okay! I’m hoping this blog will give me a process to vent and lay it out there, to help me stay focused and reach my goals. If it helps someone else out along the way, that would be great too!